Itching to change my major to Journalism.

I’m 20 years old.

And… It has not really hit me yet. I still feel as if I’m in high school, just floating by the exams, buses, and mindless walking.

The scenery sure has changed a little. Instead of 8-hour lecture days and going home, I attend 1-2 one-hour classes, then leave to work at a radio station then commute to San Antonio to work in a library. Then go home. 

I’m really enjoying myself here though. I found myself missing really peculiar things at Texas State over this past spring break. Like simply just walking around campus, or working in the production studio in the early morning. Even the drive to-and-back from San Marcos everyday is a secret pleasure, since it’s 30 minutes enjoying music and watching truck drivers race each other in the left lanes. Sometimes, when it’s an extra cool day, somebody will drive past with a funny bumper sticker like “DRIVER CARRIES NO CASH. HE’S MARRIED” or “TAKE REVENGE. SHIT ON A PIGEON.”

My fuzzball dog has not messed up his routine in years. Always excited when he wakes up, and always excited when I get home. Couldn’t ask for a better dog.

This video made me tear up this morning, right when I was about to head into work too. It’s not hard not too, when some people in this world are this selfless. Really heartwarming.

This is going to sound really lame but I am starting to get into creating custom xbox controllers like so:

 Although I’m sort of reluctant, I’m going to go ahead and try the first one on my own controller. I’m just afraid of messing up and wasting $35, but I guess you can say that the fun is in the risk.

I’m spoiled right now because my required reading for history class is about the Cold War, which is about as interesting as history class is ever going to get. I can finish reading the chapter before class tomorrow, I guess…

P.S. New music is coming soon!

J.

My iPhone has past away.

I dropped it in the soap bucket as I was washing my car the other day. I tried to revive her by laying it in the sun to dry off for a few days, but no avail. 

Farewell loyal companion. You served me well.

Breach Your Prejudices

Morals:

1. of, pertaining to, or concerned with the principles or rules of right conduct or the distinction between right and wrong; ethical: moral attitudes.
2. expressing or conveying truths or counsel as to right conduct, as a speaker or a literary work
3. capable of conforming to the rules of right conduct.

Some people claim that your high school years can be the greatest four year of your life. It’s that time where you’re gaining new responsibilities, yet still enjoy many juvenile freedoms like driving a car without having to worry about paying for gas, or the water bill of the house you live in. You’re able to relax, and spend most of your days playing video games or hanging out with your niggas, in many cases without having to deal with a stressful job.

When you look at the function of a high school, it’s rare that you wouldn’t find the experience at least somewhat enjoyable. Just think about it. You’re going through an education system that is funded by the government. You don’t have to worry about whether or not you can afford it (unless you attend private school, which in that case the responsibility would be your parents). You’re given countless opportunities to simply… learn.While you utilize this service, you also meet new people. You might befriend some, and maybe develop a crush or two. You will eventually fall in love, and/or get your heart broken. You’ll discover people are

• hurtful
• weird
• crazy
• mean
• funny
• extraordinary
• inspiring
• admirable
• lovely
• indescribable

You’ll also develop some generalized preconceptions on morality.

“Maybe I should not draw this penis on this textbook.”

“It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to take a shit in the hallway, right now.”

“Jessica wants to fuck my brains out, however I am currently in a relationship. Plus, Jessica weighs like 500 fucking pounds.”

You’ll also learn a lot about yourself. You’ll realize you fucking hate it when people steal your pencils. You’ll realize you love bacon. You’ll realize you’re really good at acting (or sports or something) and develop a passion for exotic music and films.

After high school, you’ll continue your journey, whether it be college, military  or another full-time job (or be a hobo or live with your parents forever, I guess). 
During this time period, many of those high school conceptions about life either re-define itself, break, or strengthen. 

This has been happening to me more frequently in the past year or so, and I can’t say I’m upset. It feels good to break down and re-invent the way I perceive things. I guess that’s just fancy talk for maturing. Or maybe that’s something a immature person who’s trying to act profound would say. Either way, it’s not the point of why I wrote this.

Yes, I’m finally getting to the topic I intentionally wrote this post about-

Lately, the notion of promiscuity as an absence of morals has been fiddling around in my head. You know, that one idea that says it’s wrong for you to have sex for the sake of having sex. That idea that puts losing your virginity to somebody you weren’t dating at the time in a bad light but pats you on the back for waiting until marriage. That idea. 

I’m challenging this moral concept more and more as I get older. Partly because I’m realizing just how hypocritical I am if I support it, and also because I’m realizing the negative connotations I’ve deceived myself into believing. Let me dwell a little into the former premise first.

Even though the norm (at least where I live) sort of frowns upon promiscuity and proclaim it’s wrong, you cannot hide the fact that our society is two-faced. That is, many forms of entertainment that depict our society embraces the opposite; promoting meaningless fuckery and even flaunting the idea as desirable. However, I’m not claiming that the entertainment industry is open about it, it’s not like they blatantly say “orgies, affairs, and cheating on spouses are great! You should be doing it!” and I do realize that 99% of these stories give these practices a bad light, they do obviously show off it’s clear desirability as well. 

Gah, that probably made no fucking sense, right? Hold on, give me another chance to explain it- bashing somebody for being promiscuous is very pointless because

1. this country embraces individuality and freedom b) you probably go home and jack-off to porn every night
2. you might have turned the other cheek about the promiscuity thing if the person was sucking you off
3. if they are famous, you’d also turn your cheek some more
4. it’s none of your fucking business in the first place.

None of these reasons are necessarily mind-boggling profound or anything and chances are you’ve probably heard them millions of times before by the countless justifying in movies, but still, having me figure these notions by myself (I’m arrogant enough to believe that) sort of makes it mean a lot more to me. 

Secondly, I built my naive little mind to accepting this moral concept, tweaking my inner workings to hate anybody that may have displayed character traits of this behavior. 

Why? What is the point of hating on something that isn’t even relevant to your mindset? That’s a question that’s been stinging in my head for awhile, and my final conclusion is that should not be relevant whatsoever. Who gives a shit if Stacy fucks the entire football team on a regular basis and wants to base her career in see how many blowjobs she can give in a 5 minute period, if that’s what she wants to do, more power to her. She might even become my favorite porn star one day if she continues to get that much practice. 

So, overall, I guess what I’m trying to say is that life is too short for you to be hating and nit-picking on people’s lifestyle. The more you do, the more you drown yourself into pointless emotion.

Go out and smile more.

Go practice that talent like you have always aspired to.

Go enjoy yourself.

I shutter at how misguided I was in high school, and all the bridges I’ve burnt just because of a stupid “moral” belief. 

I need to read more and exercise my thought process. My mind must be filled with clouded misanthropic views about life. I will change this about myself, and stop hurting people so much.

J.

Site Renovations

I’m starting to update the site a wee bit with simplistic typography. Going to be adding/editing all of the information you can find on the tabs as well.

Also working on a few musical projects. I hope to show ‘em before my birthday.

STAY TUNED!

J.