is exactly what popped into my head when I mentally asked myself “what should I title this post?” Disclaimer: This post has as much relevance with diabetes as the government should have with gay marriage.
In approximately 4 hours, 34 minutes, and 27 seconds, I will opening the box to a brand new MacBook Pro. Yep, das rite. I finally splurged $2,000 and bought one to help me strive towards my muscial dreams. Bought online, and my father generously offered to pick it up from the store while I threw shit down at school. I have exactly NO experience with a Mac, so why in the fuck did I buy one, right? Well, I needed a better computer to run Ableton Live for live performance. I don’t audiences would enjoy an audio sputter every 30 seconds on my old laptop. Now, I could have saved a glorious amount of money on buying another new Windows computer… But why not go balls out for Apple when I was already really loving my iPad and iPhone? They have great rep for music production, and it seems every DJ and electronic artist uses one. (So I guess I jumped on the bandwagon, I admit)
I have a romantic problem. And it’s not even the slightest bit funny. Seriously, I’m scaring myself, man. I get so smitten over the smallest of things girls do (well more specifically, just from a single crush in my class). I’m pretty fucking sure this emotion shouldn’t be happening. It isn’t healthy. It sets me up for disappoint from something I should have been expecting. Want an example? These are actual thoughts I have about this special someone:
“Her hair is up today. That’s insanely cute.”
“Her hair is down today. That’s insanely cute.”
“Did she just speak? Her voice is insanely cute!”
“She just put away her phone in her backpack, then went back for it a minute later. That’s insanely cute.”
“She just breathed. Insanely cute.”
Okay, you get the picture. Now I don’t think theres a problem with these thoughts by themselves. It beats having constant sexual thoughts (now that would suck). But keep in mind that I’ve never even had a conversation with this person other than pleasantries. I don’t know the slightest thing about this person. Why do I care about what she does or how she looks? Maybe I’m desperate, but I don’t really think so. It’s not as if I get this feeling with any girl in my line of sight. Hell, I’m actually really picky when it comes to girls (I’ve realized). Until I truly figure out what the fuck is wrong with me, I’ll continue to suppress these feelings while summing up the courage to actually, one day, talk to her. (Oh, what a day that’ll be).
It’s a little humous that my friend and me are on opposite emotional sprectrums for our upcoming exam. I’ve studied a little more than the homeless guy outside my building window has, while my friend has shoved up so much political science jargon up his asshole that he’s considering running for office. I’m not even worried about it, while he’s screaming names of government agencies at people who walk by us in the Quad. I’ll guess we’ll see who does better soon enough; The stressed, knowledgable guy, or the relaxed, clueless one.
Thirty minutes until I go live on KTSW 89.9 FM (ktsw.net). I’m getting the usual nervous habits (scratching my neck and running away from any human I see) as I type this to pass the time. Next week I won’t have a partner in crime to help me with the segment, too. So I’m practically blacking out already.
I can’t wait to make filthy sounds with my new obsession over the weekend. Next EP is on the way. Going to be titled “Discrepancies”. You can download my first album by going to the link below!